Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
So, please, consider this a PSA. When you run into someone with a similar story, don't bluster. Just be pleased for them, thank God or Fate or The Flying Spaghetti Monster or Chaos, and tell them both kids are adorable. Don't analyze or guess or in any way try to figure out why it happened just glory in the fact that it did.
Thank you for your time.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Another way this "independence" manifests is the brushing of teeth. They will not in any way, shape, or form allow me to guide the toothbrush, so there is actual brushing. Instead I hand over the brush fully loaded with fake baby paste/gel, so they can suck and gnaw on it. I do not in anyway see this as useful dental care. My strategy has become to demonstrate what I want them to do by overly exaggerating the brushing of my own teeth. This? They find hilarious, so they are now sucking and gnawing on their own toothbrushes while laughing.
Parenthood is an absurdity sometimes.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
At eleven, CJ started fussing. I waited. Fussing turn to crying. I got up and got him back to sleep. I started to nod off. Leila starts fussing. I waited. A little more fussing. In my half stupor I start thinking I can comfort her from where I am. I start imagining waves of motherly comfort exuding from my body, riding currents of air, permeating the walls and crashing over my children like the surf on the sand.
Leila stopped fussing. I hold my breath. I have to breath again and still quiet.
I am a Jedi! I can control the moods of children who I can't even see. I shall be honored and teach other parents how to Jedi parent. Yoda would bow to me. It will be a parenting revolution.
Then Leila started screaming. Loudly.
On a sigh, I get up and go to physically parent.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, June 20, 2011
It had been a very, very long day. For the most part, the kids had been good - they woke up in a foreign house (we spent Saturday night in northern Virginia with friends), spent several hours in the car, got fun & sun in Grandy's pool1, and we were hitting the "home stretch" for bedtime.
I'm not a stickler for routine. I have some friends who have the bedtime process working like a well-oiled machine, and I envy these friends . . . except when something goes astray. When the routine is broken, the meltdowns are truly epic. And, I'm pretty sure that these kids are being set up to be drug addicts. But, I digress. I don't have a bedtime routine. Sometime between 7 & 8, it's time to gauge the situation. If one kid is over-tired and throwing a fit, I'll place said kid in a death grip and
When both Duffy & I are in the room, and sleep appears imminent, both kids have the same pattern. They'll start with one of us, and we'll feed them milk, but when they realize that they're falling asleep, suddenly they need the other parent to hold them. Not uncommonly in this exchange, they'll find a second wind. Last night was no different.
Duffy had Leila, and I had CJ, and things were going pretty good. I thought CJ was about asleep when Duffy took out her earrings because Leila was tugging on them. I did something stupid & CJ awoke with a bolt. He walked over to Duffy because, obviously, I was using some sort of black magic to nearly have him asleep, and he wanted none of it.
Duffy now had both babies, Leila nearly asleep, when CJ saw something on the floor that had to be investigated. So, Duffy put him down, but he then saw the earrings sitting on the snack table.
He grabbed one.
As toddlers are wont to do, he put it in his mouth.
I sprang into action.
I saw the earring in his mouth, and then put my finger into his mouth to sweep it out.
He bit my finger.
I put my finger back in his mouth, and the earring was not there.
He bit my finger again.
There was but a split second that he could have spit the earring out, and I still hold hope that he did just that, but I think it's safe to say that a bead, dangling on 14k wire is in a toddler's digestive system.
This was not something I was used to. And I had no idea what to do. I have medical professionals that I'm "close to" via Twitter. My mother is a retired operating room nurse. My father-in-law (he of the pool) is a physician's assistant. We made the decision to call my father-in-law, and he basically told us that, if he really swallowed it, there isn't much to do but wait for it to pass.
Yeah, through the other end.
An emergency room visit would only yield an x-ray, to confirm what we already knew. For now, we just needed to wait.
Duffy hung up the phone after talking to her dad, and the two of us scoured the room, trying to figure out if, maybe, he did spit things. It's safe to say we were freaking out, though not nearly as badly as we might. It was a bad situation, but it wasn't horrible.
In the middle of all of this, Leila, who had been sitting in the middle of the commotion, playing with a set of blocks, decides to up & stand on her own two feet. The commotion stops as Duffy & I stare, slack-jawed, at our daughter.
Because she must be the center of attention, she started babbling at a volume that only she can reach. After her little nonsensical monologue, she sat back down and resumed the block playing.
You know that scene in Dead Poets Society where they're reading Whitman? "I sound my barbaric yawp"? Well, this certainly felt like Leila sounding her barbaric yawp.
In the aftermath, diaper changing ought to be fun today. I'm very hopeful that things will pass without incident, though I fear that the earring will never be worn again. And, I think we're nearing the "two toddler" stage, despite very clear instructions to my little girl that she's done enough growing up already.
1 Duffy's father's name is Randall. Grandfather + Randy = Grandy
Monday, June 13, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
At first CJ was a little tentative. He was clinging baby chimp tight to John's neck. Little Miss Leila? She started splashing and giggling the minute she was wet. Don't worry about CJ. He eventually warmed up to the experience and was just as excited as his sister by the end. He even put his face under the water with no prompting
It's a pretty simple half hour class that just allows the kids to get comfortable in the water so that they can someday have the independence they need to take an actual parentless swimming class. We sang songs that got them moving, most of which we do at the Mother Goose Time at the library, so the kids felt comfortable with them. They really liked using Humpty Dumpty. We sat them on the side of the pool and when Humpty takes his great fall, lifted them high in air then into the pool.
By the end of the half hour they were blue lips and a little shiver-y, but they were smiling.
It was a great family experience, and I know all four of us are looking forward to next week. I gotta get someone to come and take some pictures.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
This is the CJ we all know and love. The unruly curls are so adorable, aren't they? Such personality on that wee head. That is until you try and get a comb through those suckers. It was becoming a knockdown, drag out, no holds barred Ultimate Fighting cage match every morning. And I can't say I blame him. He wakes up with dreadlocks, and try as I might, I could not keep from yanking his poor little scalp despite a lot of detangler and patience. During each battle, I would think, it is time to get this mop cut, but then it would be so cute and fuzzy when it was all done. He was my baby.
But finally, I couldn't ignore it anymore. I had to let my practical mommy brain get louder than my STOP-GROWING-UP-SO-FAST mommy heart. So I called my hairdresser and made a double appointment. Momma's gotta look good too.
Leila had a nice visit with her Thi Thi while CJ and I went to the hairdresser. CJ didn't quite know what to make about leaving his sister behind. He kept looking over at her car seat. Mommy heart squeeze right there.
Barb, the hairdresser, is a fantastic lady and very good at her job. CJ and I both got a cape, and he sat on my lap. We jumped right in with what I was afraid would be the big scary clippers. CJ though had no problem with them at all. He got his very serious I-Am-Watching-Everything look and was glued to the mirror. He was amazingly good. Surprisingly it was the scissors that scared him a little, but all he did was turn around and hug me. Sigh. So finally, here is the end result.
And he is still so adorable, but it is now a little boy adorable. I can no longer pretend he is my baby boy. It is the way it is suppose to be, but some days it feels like each milestone goes by as quickly as each curl was cut and fell.
Still those, the hair is so freakin' cute.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
We haven't posted here in awhile, so I figured I'd talk about this morning - because, after all, a "random morning" is a pretty good way to figure out how parenthood is treating us, right?
- Alarm goes off at some ungodly hour
- Walk, feed dogs
- Lie back down
- Duffy: "I'll get up to run as soon as I get CJ back to sleep".
- Duffy: "Aaaaaaagh"
- Me: "What the hell happened?"
- Wife: "He puked on me!"
- Me (getting up for paper towels): "That sucks"
- Wife: "It's in my ear!"
- Son: pukes all over bed
- Me (picking up son): "let's change you"
- Son: pukes all over me
- Me (under breath): "Lovely"
- Daughter: starts laughing maniacally
- Duffy runs into the shower to clean the puke from her hair/ear
So, that was this morning in Casa de Batzer. The fun started at 4:20 when the alarm went off...by 5:30, Duffy admitted that she was too frustrated to work out (and, besides, she had already showered, so what was the point?), and since I knew I wasn't going to get back to sleep, I went downstairs to spin.
Since we haven't posted here in awhile, some updates are in order.
- CJ is up and running around . . . has been since he was 10 months old, but he's getting more & more sure on his feet every day.
- Leila is doing a whole lot of rocking on her hands & knees, and if you turn your back on her, she mysteriously moves across the room. I'm not sure if she's crawling, but she can get where she wants to go, as long as you're not looking at her.
- CJ is saying an isolated word or two. For example, the other day I went to change his diaper pointed at myself, said "I'm daddy" and then pointed at him and said "and you're CJ." CJ then pointed at himself and said, clearly "Ceej". Duffy said that, yesterday, when she went to change his diaper, he said "diaper" from the changing table.
- Leila babbles incessantly, but doesn't say much outside of "dadadadadada" and "mamamamamama" (and she uses them interchangeably when looking Duffy or me, so I'm not sure there's a whole lot of actual meaning behind them) and "dididididididi" when she's really pissed off.